I have just finished a delightful week with my mother. She came to visit from Dallas. She is 80.
When my mother comes to visit we always go to gardens and authentic Italian restaurants. Things she enjoys and things they don’t have in Dallas. She in turn always brings me something. Sometimes it’s a wool scarf to keep me warm in winter. Sometimes it’s canned or dried Ancho chilies so I can make Mexican food. She is very thoughtful that way.
This visit she brought me the original receipt from the trumpet I played all through high school and college. She also brought me 2 black lights.
I thanked her because I’m a good daughter, but the black lights threw me off a bit. My mom is sharp as a tack. She walks every day and does water aerobics to keep fit, so I’m wondering why she would bring me two black lights. When I asked she said she “just had them” and thought “I could use them.” Moms are sweet that way.
Here is a list of things I can do with my new black lights:
Identify US currency with fluorescent counterfeit strip.
Pet stain and human waste detection (I was a little insulted with that inference)
Turn my house into a club and stamp everyone’s hand with a black light ink.
Find golf balls at night…I do have a wicked slice.
All in all it was a wonderful visit and I look forward to seeing my Mom again soon in a scorpion, feces free, golfball infested disco house.
VanityFair: Sometimes real life is even better than fiction.
Lauren Morelli, one of the lead writers on the Orange is the New Black, has just filed for divorce from her husband of two years, Steve Basilone, because while working on the Netflix prison drama, she realized she is gay.
Morelli started writing for the show five months after she and Basilone exchanged vows. Writing lines for the show’s main character, Piper Chapman, a woman who was engaged to a man, but in love (or just lust) with a woman, helped Morelli understand something about herself.
“I realized I was gay in fall 2012, one of my first days on the set,” she wrote in an op-ed back in May.”In Piper and Alex, I’d found a mouthpiece for my own desires and a glimmer of what my future could look like.”
Her piece also included the tantalizing line “I went through it all on set: I fell in love with a woman, and I watched my life play out on screen.” At the time she did not disclose her on-set object of affection.
On the heels of Morelli filing the paperwork for her divorce, which appears to be amicable (she gets her Lexus, he gets the Mazda hatchback), TMZ reports that Morelli is actually dating Samira Wiley, the actress who plays Poussey on the show.
Okay, there was a clue:
See the post below to find out I have been doing freelance logos to make a little money. Since that post I’ve won another real estate one and am a finalist for a fashion designer and business company. Things are going well and I seem to have knack for it. I still have a problem though. Even though it is obvious that my logos are tailored for “mainstream” companies I find myself entering weird contests.
The latest is an LGBT, Fetish Luxury Resort in Australia.
My girlfriend pleaded for me not to enter. Not because she doesn’t approve of the establishment, but because I will design a tasteful logo that will go nowhere and then I will work and work and work to try and read this client’s mind to see what they want and I will stay up WAY too late finishing one they hate. I obviously haven’t learned my lesson.
Last night I went to a new Mexican restaurant. The only one within a 20 mile radius up here in the burbs of Philly that I think gets it right. I ODd on margaritas and salt infused carnitas and then went home and cranked out a logo for this resort. While searching “fetish resort” and “kink festivals” on the web for inspiration I got to thinking. It’s pretty obvious that I’m obsessed with this lifestyle.
The disclaimer is that the only leather I own involves comfortable shoes and a nice chair in my living room, and maybe that’s the problem.
The way I see it, if I win this contest I think I should get an all expense paid trip to this resort to see how my logo fits in.
I might not have learned my lesson, but I would like to learn new tricks…
I’ve been remiss in my posts recently because I’ve been trying to make a little freelance money. I found a couple of websites where companies post contests and artists submit logos, book covers and illustrations. If you win you get money. 99designs and crowdspring if you’re interested…
I’ve learned a lot. Sometimes the best design wins. Sometimes it’s yours. Sometimes the client has no taste what-so-ever. It’s international so you see designs from all over the world. Did you know there is such thing as a “Cat Cafe”? Meow you do.
Well…I’m busy surfing contests and submitting designs and I come across this posting for “Seduction”. “Mind Hacks”. “Live”. I have to admit, I’m intrigued. It’s for a set of DVDs that tell men how to pick up women “at night” and “on the street”. I honestly thought it was called prostitution and you just needed money, but I was wrong.
There is an entire niche market for “programs” to tell you how to do this. To my girlfriend’s dismay I entered the contest. It was a challenge that I thought I knew about–I’ve picked up a couple of girls in my day. I was very wrong about what they wanted…
I submitted tasteful and elegant logos and pages to show off their product. Nothing. No response. Other designers submitted “sexy silhouettes” with nipples and everything and they got 4 out of 5 stars. I obviously was out of my league on this one. My real estate, dog party and coffee shop logos did fine, but I bombed when it came to “knowing how to mind hack a broad”.
Not one to give up I looked on Amazon to see if there were other products out there. I was amazed.
The author of one particular guide on Amazon is a “Master Pick Up Artist”
This DVD collection seems self explanatory.
I was devastated. I was under the impression that because I was a woman and dated women I knew how to pick them up. Wow, was I wrong.
With money from my Charity and Real Estate logos I’m going to buy a couple of books. I can’t wait to get started…