Forgive a little personal rant here.

I am a crazy magnet…you know what I mean. You’re standing there minding your own business and people will come up to you and begin conversations, and very quickly you realize that something’s not quite right…

Happened again last night. I stopped by the Bryn Mawr library (Ludington Library) to pick up some books on html and javascript because I don’t have a life. I got in what I thought was the line to check out…oops…it was really just a crazy girl standing in the middle of the library. Once I stopped moving she tuned in and wheeled around. Immediately I knew my mistake. She began, as they always do, in the middle of a conversation about a woman who won’t be quiet in London, how there are as many stars in the sky as videos on Utube, and the fact that she only has 30 min. on the internet and there’s no way she can see them all if that woman in London doesn’t shut up. Of course the last part was said a bit louder than I would have liked…especially in a library.

I’m thinking is this for real?…is this just some college girl f*%@king with me for a thesis?…then another glance at the bright necklaces around her neck, 5 layers of tie-dyed shirts, and actually really cool high tops made me think this might be the genuine article.

I realized at this point that she had paused and was waiting expectantly for a reply. “Yeah”, I said. Wanting to be on her side of any heated conversation. “There would be more videos on Utube if they stopped censoring all the good ones as soon as they got posted.” Wrong answer…obviously she didn’t want to hear that there were more stars and videos than she could imagine…luckily, the librarian looked up at me with sympathetic eyes and motioned me over. I gave crazy college girl my most winning smile and moved to the check out counter.

I saw her again as I left, starting to head toward a woman waiting in line at the reference desk. I took off quickly.

Remember that I said happened again?…just last week I was at the Wine and Spirits shop next to the Narberth train station…after dark, again, I might add. My girlfriend and I had let the liquor supply at the house drop dangerously low, so I was there for the big haul. I had bottles of gin and vodka (the big ones with the handle on the side) and of course you have to pick up a couple of bottles of wine while your there. One of our friends is a scotch drinker, so I even had a bottle of that.

Happy with my choices, I headed over to one of the check-out counters. I’m placing a dozen or so bottles on the counter when I hear a loud voice exclaim, “Who’s buying all that booze?!” More than a little irritated I spun around and looked into the eyes of a very crazy old lady. She, like the college girl, wore a lot of necklaces and clothes, but she had not brushed her hair in a very long time. “That would be me…” I said. I was scared now, but still pissed that someone had invaded my personal space, and announced to the store that I was in fact a functioning alcoholic.

“That’s a lot of alcohol” she stated. “are you going to drink it all yourself?” And then I said something sarcastically stupid (like I always seem to do). “Well…I live right around the corner…if someone helps me carry all of it, then I’d share it with them.” What the hell did I just say?…luckily the two guys behind the counter felt sorry for me and both agreed that they would carry it all home for me and help me drink it. That actually got me more flustered than the crazy lady…did I just get hit on by straight guys?…did they think I was flirting with them, or worse yet, with the crazy lady behind me? Well, it must have gotten her confused, also, because hurricane hair-do just stood there with her plastic bottle of gin and mouth hanging.

That was my cue…I ran out. As I got into my car, I saw that a very old station wagon had parked next to me. It was filled with every possible thing you could imagine. Dolls, part of a fence…I didn’t stick around to look more. I knew who that station wagon belonged to.

So as I sit here writing this (and drinking, I might add), I feel bad that I ran away from these two people. I guess I look friendly or open or something. Maybe its the fact that I was raised in Texas. People tell me I smile and make eye contact way too much when I’m in Philly or NYC. But with that mental imbalance comes a fear of unpredictability…will they continue to think me friend, or will I become foe. Best not to stick around and find out.

So to the crazy college internet girl, and the crazy station wagon lady I say hello. I hope you have loved ones that look out for you and I hope in what ever worlds you move through and what ever voices you hear you find love and peace and all the gin you can drink and Utube videos you can watch.

NOTE: I’ve lived here in Narberth for almost 3 years…I am desperately on the lookout for fellow gays and lesbians…that’s why I started this blog…please…crazy or not, if you’re gay, introduce yourself and convince me that I’m not the only homosexual living here on the outskirts. I’ll be the one drinking at McSheas next to the crazy person.