Jonny Quest’s Dad was Gay and Other Stuff You Gotta Know

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I grew up on Tang, sugary cereal and Saturday morning cartoons. Not that Japanese anime crap, they’re cloning off nowadays…real cartoons. Back when we all walked to school up hill both ways in the snow.

My brother and I would huddle around the dog in our pajamas drinking what the astronauts drank and manually surfing all 3 to 5 channels for cartoons.

I was so jacked up on candy-coated oats singing “I’m Just a Bill” and learning “Conjunction Junction”, I totally missed the not-so subliminal homosexuality going on back in the 70’s.

OK…for one, Jonny Quest’s dad was gay. Don’t remember the show? No problem…

Those kids? The one in the black shirt is Jonny Quest…friend with the turban is Hadji…dog is Bandit. Two adults? Braniac guy in the brown coat is Jonny’s dad Dr. Benton Quest. Other guy is supposedly Johnny’s bodyguard and tutor, Race Bannon. But as you see from the trailer, Jonny, Hadji, and Bandit get into a lot of trouble, and Race and his dad are no where to be found to help…but Race and Benton are never far apart when they finally show up at the end. Seems alot like me and my first girlfriend at summer camp.Here’s another example…Bug’s Bunny Road Runner Show. F**king brilliant. I learned all my opera from this show. Well, it’s also chock full-o’drag…

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I can list all the well known gays…Velma, Peppermint Pattie, Ernie and Bert.

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But this one is going to hurt…ready?

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Lady Elaine Fairchilde from Mr. Roger’s Kingdom of Make Believe…not only super gay…but she gave me nightmares…there was something very wrong going on there…And speaking of scared straight…I’ll bring up my second theme of 1970s cartoons. Drugs.I learned a lot from Sesame Street, Zoom and The Electric Factory.Big Bird? Only he could see Snufalufagus. (snuf said)

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And the graphics for the electric factory were incredible…notice all the tracers?

To this day I remember the song counting to 12 and it’s this giant pinball machine.

The ball goes everywhere and it is unbelievable…of course I can’t find it for you to trip out on…but wait…HR PufNStuff

The Banana Splits

People…there you have it.

For better or worse (and my partner usually thinks the latter) I am a product of Saturday morning television.

You know what…I think my Flipper lunch box is somewhere in the basement…I’m headed down there now to get it…

3 Comments

  1. Oh, my God. I think you’ve stumbled onto something AMAZING! The looks they kept giving each other in the “cock” pit!

    And I swear that Lady Elaine Fairchilde was actually Elaine Stritch in a costume – look at the bulbuous nose showing all the signs of alcoholism!

    I also think Bert and Ernie had three-ways with Grover.

    Kisses,
    Maxine

  2. I’m so pleased you enjoyed my cartoon editorial…I have to admit…I had to “remind” myself who Elaine Stritch was…she has been around awhile, hasn’t she. I agree…Bert was too uptight…Grover was a player, and kept things groovin’ with those two at their house. Please eat black eyed peas and cornbread for me…I’m stuck in Philly and they wouldn’t know soul food if it mugged them on the train.

  3. 1.) Johnney Quest’s plane is a giant cock.

    2.) Lady Elaines nose was always covered in blood. Creepy evil gay puppet blood. No wonder you had nightmares.

    3.) Have you ever read http://www.puntabulous.com
    this post reminded me of his pop culture lists. you’de love it.


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