Police arrested a man in Ohio for allegedly having sex with his picnic table…4 times.
The tape came from his neighbor, who claims the man would go onto his deck, grab a round, metal table and tilt it on its side. He would then use the hole where the umbrella goes to have sex.
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I checked out our table. It’s got the hole where you put the umbrella…the diameter of the hole is 3 full inches across. Now I might be a lesbian, but that makes a pretty substantial “girth” in my book. Add length and your talking Ron Jeremy or something.
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So why is someone hung like a porn star sneaking around in his backyard getting strange from his lawn furniture? My theory? He’s got a thing for his neighbor and wants to show off his giant package. Obviously, the neighbor wants to see it since he or she is waiting with a video camera ready to film, day or night.
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I’ve got to go…it’s spring and I’ve been having these dreams of my hammock all winter…
4 Comments
The hammock made me laugh out loud. Literally.
What an odd story LOL. Why would he be arrested though? Weird, yes but it is his own picnic table if thats what he wants to do who cares? He isn’t hurting anyone. except maybe his own jiggly bits.
http://www.queersunited.blogspot.com
3 inches girth is actually pretty small, mine is 5 inches girth exact and im only 16…
thats three inches across, thats 8 inches around dude.