I’ve got 2 Labrador retrievers. The shed…a lot. An obsessive and soothing habit I have is to walk around the kitchen in my socks sweeping up dog fur. The coffee is brewing and I am cleaning. I am at peace. My girlfriend watches me do this and thinks I’m crazy…but it seems that there are others just like me. Strength in numbers, misery loves company.
Introducing the mop flops. Because your compulsions need to be fulfilled, and your kitchen needs to be fur-free.
I saw these things only after I had shopped online at midnight for something else.
The Furminator.
A friend had sworn that their mother uses nothing else on their dog…and it works. I was skeptical, but my socks were not getting that pretty white color after each wash, so I investigated. The real hook: money back guarantee.
$29.99 with free shipping on Amazon.com
This picture is proof. I know it looks like a scam, but this thing works. My girlfriend stood by as I took off 3 small animals worth of fur. She even got out the old shedding blade and we did a test. Yep…the Furminator worked better. Simon, the black lab, loved to be brushed. He is paunchy, and summers are not his specialty. Ellie, his yellow sister, felt as though acid was being poured down her back the entire time. She has the same feeling about bathtime and when the cat looks at her funny.
Speaking of cats…this thing works on them as well.
I was a little worked up about some deadlines looming on the horizon and worked through some OCD by furminating Chloe, the 12 year old cat. We both went into some sort of trance and came out on the other side, very different. I was feeling better about my work, and Chloe had no undercoat all the way down her back. She doesn’t seem to mind, and we tell her she is very pretty, but the simple fact is that when a cat doesn’t have an undercoat on the ridge of her back, that fur stands straight up…like a mohawk.
Now I know you’re thinking you need one for your pets…and you do. But what about that man in your life. The one with…dare I say it…a hairy back.
Fear no more.
They have a Furminator for humans.
Introducing the “ishave”.
I know. They really missed the mark with the name…but I think the photo above will convince you that good name or not, some guys need to be de-furred.
If I had my way I would walk around with both these things in my back pocket. I had so much fun shaving things I would do it for a living.
“Your husband or your hound…smooth as a baby’s bottom.” That would be the name on the side of the van. All you would have to do is bring your man or your mutt (both on leashes, please) up to the vehicle. Door closes…elevator music commences… and voila! out come clean and smooth creatures for your enjoyment…money back guarantee.
Tonight at midnight, I will begin shopping for that van…
