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DListed: Forget all the other workout videos (well, except for this one), because Prancercise (which sounds like John Travolta’s special name for anal kegels) is the only workout video you need. One of Florida’s finest blooms, Joanna Rohrback, is here to teach us how to burn the calories by prance, prance, prancing like you’re Trace Cyrus galloping through a lavender field while getting attacked by bees. If you really want to look like a professional prancer who is serious about prancing, put a 30 pound wig on top of your head, a gorgeous QVC necklace around your neck, a coral Talbots cardigan on your body and ankle weights (which kind of look like rolled socks, glamour!) around your ankles.

Nobody in the park will bother you or attack you, because you’ll hypnotize them with your graceful prancing and you’ll knock them out with your bouncing camel toe. Joanna pranced so hard that at the end of her prancing workout even her camel toe was huffing and puffing.

And THIS is why Florida is the capital of fresh fuckery. Prance on, Joanna, prance on!

BONUS: Joanna’s also got a book and I might buy it just to read Joanna’s tips on how to achieve the perfect prancing camel toe.

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2 Comments

  1. I’ve seen that before, at many weddings when the older crowd gets out on the dance floor. Celebrate good times, c’mon!

  2. As tragic as this seems, I’m afraid this is only one of many untold forms of fresh f*ckery taking place inside Florida’s gated 55+ communities. Fun post!


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