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I Can't Stop Watching Christmas Cats TVExpand

Jezebel: In living out this crazy human condition of ours, a great deal can be gained by learning to find beauty in the things we don’t understand. I don’t understand Christmas Cats TV, but I do know that it is beautiful.

Because my opinion on beauty might not be enough to get you to click the link (although the name CHRISTMAS CATS TV should have been enough to make you click regardless), here’s what Christmas Cats TV is according to the people who created it:

“For three days, eight hours a day, people at home can watch a LIVE stream of a wacky grandma ‘cat lady’ in her home, rocking, knitting, and hanging out with room full of adoptable cats available for adoption.”

For today at least, the “wacky grandma” is joined by a young man in an elf costume who I can only assume was also once an involved member of his high school’s show choir.

Other than that, here’s what I know for sure:

  • The first time I tuned in, the elf and the grandma were talking about the time she accidentally ate a pot brownie.
  • The second time I tuned in, the grandma was asking the elf whether he has “had” the same amount of girls as Wilt Chamberlain. The elf has not.
  • The elf clearly hates the grandma.
  • They listen to Christmas music all day.
  • There is an option for you to chat with them and tell them what to do.
  • I used it to request a Mariah Carey song. I was ignored.
  • It runs through Friday.
  • This is the most important internet event since the Procatinator.
  • The cats are all available for adoption through the North Shore Animal League.

Why are you still reading this? Go watch some Christmas Cats TV.

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  1. I’ve had it on for five minutes now. The elf is the one who ate the pot brownie. Wait a minute, they’re dancing with the cats now, and I think they may have both had pot brownies and a bit of vodka. Just found out Grannie was married six times. This is all starting to make sense. Elf is kind of cute, but I think he may smell like cat pee.

  2. Okay, Elf is now quoting William S. Burroughs, and they are talking about the ladies loving Elf. Obviously the only pussy Elf has ever seen in person has four legs and would make me sneeze.

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