They’re crawling out of their holes: Vegas odds on 2012 Republican President Nominee

AllPro: Quit wondering and just look at the odds:

Name that weapon

My dad taught me to shoot. I shot a luger, a 22 rifle and a colt pistol. I was good–I could hit a can at whatever yardage you wanted. Dad told me and my brother two things. 1) If you aim a gun at something you are aiming to kill it, and 2) If you shoot an intruder on the property, drag him into the house.

Needless to say when my dad died, my brother got the guns and I got a machete that I trim shrubs with.

For all of you that have fond memories of dad, guns and other wild west living I bring you a little Wednesday fun. (Plus I don’t think Sarah Palin is getting enough press right now–maybe she should admit to a love child or something…)

Ladies and gentlemen…name that gun:

“I Can See An Emmy From My House!”

DListed: Here’s Julianne Moore all dressed up in Sarah Palin drag for HBO’s Game Change, which started shooting today. Game Change is all about John McCain’s 2008 run for president from when he plucked Sarah Palin out of a bear rug’s mouth to when he lost against Obama. Ed Harris is playing McCain, Woody Harrelson is playing McCain’s senior campaign advisor and Melissa Farman is playing Bristol.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The only thing I care about is who is playing my favorite pill-popping Republican ice queen goddess Cindy McCain?! I swear, if they screw up that casting… They better have cast a magnificent stone cold beauty with sparkling sapphire eyes like that of the silver-plated dolphin bracelet my third grade teacher always wore. You don’t know how many times my third grade teacher said, “Oh, my great aunt left it to me when she passed.” Ho, was your great aunt named Claire’s, because you know that’s where it came from!

Come to think of it, my third grade teacher’s dolphin bracelet should play Cindy McCain! Or Sandra Lee. One of those.

Vegas Odds: 2012 Presidential Election (It’s never too early)

I think more Democrats and Independents than Republicans want Sarah Palin to run for president right now, but it’s never too early to start putting your money down for the upcoming race. Here are the latest betting odds from SportsBook.com. Yes, you can gamble on everything…

Bristol and Willow defend mom’s new show. Faggot and Gay are their weapons.

If you really don’t want to step back into a high school quad by reading the whole mess, here’s a few highlights. Emphasis on “high” since it’s best if you’re high while reading it:

Matt: not as fat as Bristol, and not dating a dumbass prick like almond, The only program I enjoyed from your family is Nailin’ PalinMatt: Its on TLC The Last Channel I’d ever fucking watch in my life

Willow: Haha your so gay. I have no idea who you are. But what I’ve seen pictures of, your disgusting… My sister has a kid and is still hot And don’t talk shit about Andy

Willow: Tre stfu. Your such a faggot.

Matt: I’ll talk shit about Andy 24/7 he’s backed down before, he’ll do it again. and she had that baby? By the looks of it I thought she was still pregnant, my bad

Matt: Well you know its bad when you take a picture with the situation and your the grenade.

Willow: Sorry that all you guys are jealous of my families success and you guys aren’t goin to go anywhere with your lives

Yeah, I’m going to need William Shatner to dramatically recite this shit: